Admitting Defeat

*Warning this is not a nice post* And it may ramble on a bit...

As a Positive Reinforcement trainer, I get my methods criticized all the time. And that is okay, because in the end it makes me a better trainer and friend to my horses. However, what I don't handle well is the never ending comments from people about how it is okay to be mean to horses because they are big and they can kill you. Some days I just want to say fine! I give, you are right. It is perfectly okay for us to be harsh and cruel to another living creature out of our own fear.

Below are just a few responses on Facebook after I posted about a horse being pushed past his threshold as the reason he went to bucking. Actually I will put my response and then follow it up with the comments. I am leaving the names out of the comments in response to mine.

Sarah Shipman "All I see is that poor horse getting spurred and yanked in the mouth because he was pushed past his threshold... Sigh. I know I am probably a lone in this thought, because it is always the horses fault never us humans that push them to that point. As usual I see fear and pain in the eyes of a animal and others see it as funny. Maybe some day humans will stop being so cruel, but I am not holding out hope. Don't want to argue with anyone... I have said my peace."

1) "Not really, kinda got to get after a big animal like that otherwise they're likely to kill ya. I'm all for compassion. But I know I'll sink a spur in ones side if they go to buckin on me."

2)" If ever in doubt about correcting a rank horse watch a herd establish its hierarchy___ was reaching back to try and bite ___leg and I didn't believe ___. So when I took ___out, sure enough, she reached back for my leg and after meeting the sole of my boot she never did it again. Horses are powerful amazing animals. For us, the joy of the ride with the powerful animals is being prepared for when things don't go quite as expected. I've never met a bombproof horse immune to a freak day in the ring or on the trail. It's part of learning to protect yourself and the horse when things get out of control." 

To me what happened in the video was the guy was trying to stick out a wild ride,but the real problem to me is the fact that the horse was pushed to that point. Only one other person watched the video and gave feedback as to why the horse was bucking in the 1st place. Everyone else was just impressed with the riders ability to stick it out. Which he did do a good job of staying on. As the person in the 1st comments states they are all for compassion, but... this is what is wrong with our society. There is always a "but" attached to the words compassion when it comes to animals. I will be very honest in this post and say it is days like today that I feel defeated. I see just how many cruel people are in this world and I feel like I will never make a difference. I want to plant a seed with as many people as I can and use positive reward training on humans too, but frankly humans make it hard!  I struggle to have empathy for humans because for the most part they don't have empathy for anybody else. I have given up hope that humans will ever have compassion for any other animal. 

I started writing this blog in 2012 when I got Navi 4 years ago almost to the day. I had hoped that in the last 4 years I would have seen a difference in how humans thought. But now I have my doubts that we will ever change. Although truthfully how can I ever expect change when you have big time horse trainers such as Clinton Anderson that openly say, sometimes you have to kick a horses ass to show him who is boss, and that he hopes the bit-less tree hugging people get themselves killed so he doesn't have to deal with them... AND people still give him money! So I finally admit defeat! I throw up the white flag. I finally understand how people that think like me become so bitter. So often others tell them they should be kinder to humans if they want to get their point across, but there in lies the problem. Humans don't listen to kindness. For a long time I was willing to be accepting of things that I wasn't really accepting of to seem not extreme and to not be thought of as the "crazy" person, lol. But I am over it! Call me crazy, call me dumb, call me a tree hugging crazy bit-less horse person. But all that is okay because at least I can't be called heartless and cruel. (when it comes to animals at least, I am the 1st to admit I can be heartless when it comes to humans) 

Meanwhile if you need me I will be out riding the trails with Pixie in just a halter( or maybe without) and I will be working on riding my 5 year old horse at liberty. Don't worry I will try to keep in mind that since they are big they might decide to try and kill me because I am not being harsh enough. Remember though I do have boundaries with my horses and require manners, odd I know since I use treats *gasp*. 

I leave you with this question...Why is it okay for us (humans) to cause pain to an animal, but it is not okay for them to cause us pain in return? 

Trail riding without the Halter!

Our 1st time on the trails with just a neck rope.

Yesterday my partner and I hit the trails with Willow and Pixie. It was the perfect fall day and the ride was awesome. In fact everything was going so well that I decided to take off the halter for the last part of the ride. After we made it down the very big hill I took off Pixie's halter. Well okay I first checked with my other half to see if we had a clicker with us. I wasn't going to trail ride at liberty and not have a clicker. Safety! After getting my clicker the halter came off and off we went. Okay maybe she had to eat a little grass before we could start walking, lol. I will admit when we came to our 1st downhill section I was a bit nervous. I had no reason to be as she was perfect as she slowly went down the hill. This was a dream come true for me and now I know the possibilities are endless. However as with every big milestone I discovered lots about myself and my riding.

Here is some of the things I learned:
1) I have control issues (okay, okay I knew this before, but it really comes to light on the open trail with nothing on the horses head.)
2) Control issues = micromanaging
3) I didn't realize just how much the idea of reins made me feel safe.

So yes, it was very obvious to me just how much I seek control when riding the trails and how much mental reassurance the reins give me. In the beginning every time I wanted to change direction I immediately picked up the neck rope instead of asking with my seat and legs first. Funny I would do this since I have ridden at liberty in the arena more times than I can count. But habits are ingrained in us!  I found myself once again trying to steer with the neck rope when we reached a spot where we had to cross the gravel road to get back to the grass (she likes walking in the grass) however we had to avoid ditch too. But I caught myself and put it down, and said ok Pixie I trust you to not put us in the ditch. And guess what we made it around the ditch, lol. As I knew we would,but as stated before I have control issues.  The first time she broke into a trot to catch up with Willow I once again went straight to the neck rope to try and slow her down. Oh wait that isn't her cue to stop when we ride at liberty. Ha...she did slow down but did not stop. Okay, let me try the actual cue...I took a deep breath and relaxed and she stopped immediately. Good girl for listening when I actually used the right cue! Good girl for making me use the right cue!

I found that when we got closer to having to cross the road to get back home I was nervous. Why? I don't know. As I told my partner I knew she wasn't going to run away with me, but for some reason having reins gave me a certain level of comfort. And I never realized just how much my mind relied on those reins. Maybe because I knew there was no room for error or not listening when it came to crossing a road where the speed limit is 65. It was crucial she listen. We approached, she stopped and waited for traffic, and then we crossed on cue. She was perfect. It was important that I made sure I used the right cues! By the time we made it back to the driveway to the ranch I was super relaxed and had figured out how to use the correct cues, lol.

 It was nice having my partner there to remind me to put down the neck rope. That the whole point of me riding at liberty was to not have reins of any shape or form, lol. Oh yeah... I guess that is the point huh. Funny how the minute you step out of your comfort zone you forget how to do things like ride with your seat and legs. Or as my partner reminded me giving up the last ounce of control is something I struggle with.

Here is the thing. It isn't or shouldn't be about control, it should be about a partnership. Seeking this partnership with Pixie is my ultimate goal, but to get there I have to learn how to give up the control and let the partnership happen. I am still learning about myself and how to become a better partner to Pixie. The feeling of riding at liberty on the trails was the ultimate high for me. It was something I never thought I would be able to do.  (On that note, please don't go out and try to ride at liberty on the trails without the proper training in place.)

The moment we started walking on the trail without the halter, I remembered back to when I was standing in the round pen in tears with Pixie thinking I am never going to find a way to connect with this mare. Yet I did, and here we were riding at liberty on the open trail :)