It has been 8 months since Navi tried to cut her leg off...okay so it wasn't that bad, that is just how I refer to it. But in all seriousness I had hope she would have been completely healed by now. And on the outside she is all healed. She has all new skin along with some scarring. She is sound at a walk, trot when doing ground work. I am going to reassess her soundness for riding in April at the 1 year mark. But like I said before I need to come to terms with the fact that this injury may have sidelined her from riding forever. She came within centimeters of her hock and the vet said she may always be prone to joint flares which if are anything like that first one she was 3 legged lame.
So what now, what if she can't be ridden. She is only 4 and hopefully she will live about 30 years. But that is a lot of years to have a horse that can't be ridden. This is where I have to look inside of myself and figure out it never has been about riding. For the most part people own horses so we can ride them. We compete in different sports with them, trail ride, or use them for ranch work. Regardless of what we do the one thing we have in common is people own horses so they can ride. Horses are expensive and are a luxury. I love riding I won't tell you otherwise, but is it really the end of the world if I have a horse for 30 years that can't be ridden. No, it isn't. Because she will bring me joy in so many other ways. And is it right for me to say she is worth less because she can't be ridden...nope! It is funny because truly I don't value any horses worth by what they can do for me, but yet when faced with Navi's injury all I have done is count down the time to when I can put her back to under saddle work. Why have I done that? It got me thinking, is it because I fall into the same trap as everyone else thinking horses aren't as valuable if they can't be ridden. (which yes, in the market that is true) But I won't ever sell her so it isn't true for her. But then is it the peer pressure, people will think I am wasting money on a horse that can't be ridden? The answer is yes, people will think that, but then again who am I to care, most of my animals are considered throw away animals in others eyes. So why do I have such a hard time wrapping my mind around this when in the same breath I can be okay with never riding Char. Is it because I adopted Char knowing we would probably never ride or is it because I adopted Navi expecting to trail ride. I had plans for Navi before we ever got her. I had wanted a baby to train from the ground up. Is it because I will feel like I failed if we don't meet our goal of riding? Is riding truly the end all be all? I have to look back and realize I have already met most of the my goal. Navi was a blank slate with the exception of being halter trained already. Now she is a functional almost adult horse, lol. She is still a teenager in a lot of ways! I think I need to set up new goals for us to meet. I am capable of training her for anything, I just have to think of things. It is funny because I almost feel lost. Most of the behaviors I trained her where for getting her ready to ride, but now I need to switch that mind set and think about other things than riding. How do I do that though? Maybe I need to stop with the timeline of planning when to reassess her for riding. Maybe I should give up the thought completely and just let things happen. I will know when the time is right, she will tell me if I listen. I need to step away from mainstream thinking that we need to ride. Would I be telling the truth if I said I wasn't sad. No, because the truth is I am a little sad thinking about it. I had big plans for her and I to trail ride. She would have made a great trail horse (and maybe she still will) but she will also be great at something else that doesn't involve riding. I strongly believe everything happens for a reason...And maybe this happened for no other reason than to open my eyes about how I view my horses worth and to teach me to be open to other things besides riding.
